Agents. Qualified literary gatekeepers?

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A few years ago, Samuel Moffie submitted The Perfect Martini to 100 literary agents. Actually, he submitted 90% of the first twenty pages of Kurt Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions disguised as The Perfect Martini. Any guesses on his success rate? 100 out of 100, right? No. Only one agent responded positively, but that’s because the agent recognized the original author. 99 agents declined. Just to be clear, yes, the critically acclaimed, award-winning, nationally revered Kurt Vonnegut. Rejected.

Agents are concerned with commercial viability, that’s first and foremost. Period. Literary quality is a secondary bonus, if present. Now, if Vonnegut wrote a novel where a dominant vampire becomes master to a naive, submissive, shape-shifting werewolf, I’m sure he would have fared better.

Here’s the point. Why spend months, or even years, writing and submitting queries to agents who are clearly looking the other way? If they passed on Kurt Vonnegut, what chance do you have?

Agent, defined: 1. a person who acts on behalf of another, in particular. Do agents really represent authors (unknown or established) or do they represent their own financial interests and those of Big Publishers? In terms of quality, perhaps the guards are sleeping at the gates. 2. a person or thing that takes an active role or produces a specified effect. Be that person, be your own agent of change. You, not someone else. You, the person that isn’t so concerned with profit. You, the person that cares about the future of literature, not the 15% commission.

During the course of one year, I queried over 300 agents, followed all their silly and varied submission requirements, I know, no attachments, got it, waited to hear back for weeks sometimes, other times, didn’t hear back at all, even with partial or full manuscript requests, read all their canned responses, I’m not taking on new authors at this time, the work doesn’t fit with my list. Blah, blah, blah.

Query tip: don’t send any more. Take your work straight to the reader.

Within one month, I built a platform, designed my cover, formatted my ebook, published, promoted, marketed, and advertised.

Made sales.

Your turn.

371 thoughts on “Agents. Qualified literary gatekeepers?”

  2. Thank you for making me smile today, Brian. And thank you for noticing my blog where I go when I get cross.
    I’ve posted your blog page to my writing group. I’m sure it will cheer them up too.

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  3. From a social justice point of view, I imagine that this message is especially important for writers who come from marginalized backgrounds and whose works are under represented because of these “gate keepers.”

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  6. Reading well-written prose gives me hope that language hasn’t gone completely to seed. Oh, did I mention your post is quite well-written? And informative? And ….

    Please, stop me before I lapse completely into editorial-mode … thanks. And thanks also for following my faith-based blog, The Well-Dressed Branch.

    I agree with your assessment of the current state of literary agency. Yet, there’s another aspect to your Vonnegut experiment: His name on a manuscript represents his “hard time” spent following all the rules of conventional style, earning him the right to violate any and all of said rules. Quite likely, the beleaguered agents scanned your faux submission’s first few hundred words, spotted all the apparently arbitrary stylistic gaffes, and punched the “Reject” button.

    Such knee-jerk reactions aren’t as much the agents’ fault as they are the fault of the American education establishment’s deplorable failure to do its job on multiple levels. Here’s a short-list of educational failures: English composition, classical languages, English literature, creative writing, philosophy, logic, critical thinking, and most fundamental of all, the absolute necessity of excellence to achieve any worthwhile end.

    Thing is, though relativism is the shifting sand upon which today’s educational establishment totters, it simply doesn’t work in the open literary market. If you’re not good, you’re gone! And if you’re not great, you join the multiplied thousands of perspective authors who can’t quite make it.

    So there’s my twenty-five-cents’ worth (including inflation).

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  7. There are whole genres you can forget about submitting to certain agents and editors. I just read an interview with a Big Five editor who specifically stated his company was not accepting material representing virtually all the categories of books that my traditional print publisher has released this past year.

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  8. Reblogged this on Daven Anderson's Blog and commented:
    “…if Vonnegut wrote a novel where a dominant vampire becomes master to a naive, submissive, shape-shifting werewolf, I’m sure he would have fared better.”
    Just try selling urban fantasy nowadays, after the post-Twilight flood. Teen dystopia is soon to be next on the “no” list…

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  9. You have to wonder; so few agents, so many writers. I tried going through an agent also and got the same canned responses. After hearing a few agents and publishers speak, from their mouths I learned that if its not exactly as they want the submission to be., i.e. spacing, query letter only, three pages, don’t send pages, etc., if it doesn’t meet their individual criteria, they toss it. Don’t even look at it. If they do look at it, its just their opinion if they don’t like it. Ask any writer who has submitted hundreds of times to be rejected; finally gets someone to publish and its a big success. I found that I was spending all my free time working on getting published and didn’t have any time for writing. Writing is what I enjoyed. That’s when I moved to self publishing. I’ve more than recouped any costs that I incurred. I’m not saying I can give up my day job but I can make a little money doing something that I love.

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  10. “Now, if Vonnegut wrote a novel where a dominant vampire becomes master to a naive, submissive, shape-shifting werewolf, I’m sure he would have fared better.”

    I love EVERYTHING about this statement.

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  11. Strong words, logical interpretation and good conclusion. Though I hold no brief for capitalism and agents, but without middlemen raking profits, capitalism would not be same. Perhaps socialism would also be redundant.
    All the best.

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  12. Bravo Brian! My experience is very much on the lines yo have described these literary eunuchs. For them they know what goes on in the backrooms of publishing houses and how much of a product and how can they be packaged and the cut they will take on every book sold to the public. I stopped sending my works to them. Best wishes

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  13. As one who just began her first foray into agent queries, I found your post interesting. Coming from an academic background, self-publishing is still not regarded (respected) with the same esteem as agented books or even university publishing houses where you’re lucky to get a dozen readers. I’ll be glad to see the day when that changes, but I won’t hold my breath.

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  14. I made the same trip; it just took me longer. I come from the days of typewriters, carbon paper and mailed manuscripts. I have had agents throughout the years and some have done a good job for me. But times have changed. I may be older, but certainly I’m no dinosaur. I got more done in e-publishing in the last 18 months than the in the prior 15 years with agents. They are still gate keepers but fewer and fewer are waiting at the gate.

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    • Amen to your post. I have only one experience with an agent. Nice lady, dedicated to her craft. We met when she was hosting a seminar for a writer’s club and I managed to slip a manuscript to her. She suggested that my story would make a “great” screenplay and based on that I learned to format a script and wrote it. She shopped it in L.A. and actually got a couple of solid nibbles. But the most interesting thing that came of our relationship was when I asked what happened when (or if) the script was made into a movie. She informed me that what she wanted was a great screenplay, not a great movie. That the real money wasn’t in making a film as that effectively ended the revenue stream for that particular screenplay. The goal was to option the script, have the option expire and then option it a few more times. According to her, a financially successful screenplay writer could have several scripts floating around, being optioned and re-optioned, making a decent living and never see any of them make it to the silver screen. What a great business model, a little effort up front and then smoke and mirrors.

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  15. Pingback: Agents. Qualified literary gatekeepers? | Pitching Pennies Poetry

  20. Brian, thank you so much for stopping in on Incidental Thinking and especially for the follow. I’ve read a few of your posts (and shared the Manifesto on LinkedIn) I am honored that you found my blog interesting enough to follow it. Sara Kate

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  22. This is so true. My daytime job is at an independent pharmacy (that is losing money daily) and my boss has no marketing strategy and honestly thinks that the business can survive from location alone. If only he could read this post.

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  23. Hi Brian, thank you for your interest in my blog. I very much enjoyed this inspiring post as I am currently working on my first book. I have been doing a lot of reading about indie or agent represented publishing and I am still undecided. Your story makes a great case for indie. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

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  24. If you are asked to pay the agent, without regard to results, RUN. Personally I spent a lot of time trying to attract an agent. Was successful once. Whether it was my material or her talents, it didn’t work out. The catch 22 with agents is that most established, successful agents want you to have a track record of having been published by a mainstream house. Most mainstream houses won’t touch you unless you have an agent. Win, lose or draw, I am indie all the way.

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  26. I was fortunate to have a publisher publish my book BUT although they say they will market it, marketing by them is minimal. I learned the hard way that I had to arrange talks etc. As the sales were not good enough the publisher didn’t re-print, and I’ve put it on Amazon kindle as an e-book. I’ve started a blog : nottherethen@wordpress.com but I’m not really selling any books through it. You did really well – well done. Can you suggest how else I might market my book? It’s a simple and practical guide to mindfulness – at present very in!

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  27. Very useful.
    I’m just finishing a novel and am quaking at the prospect of the commercial book mill. I’ve published two how to books with publishing houses and a number of small books on my own. Really not looking forward to courting an agent. It’s a mixed bag, and I don’t think anyone knows what will and won’t catch the public eye.But I’m not sure how you pump up your own fiction, Any good suggestions for sites that discuss that? Or thoughts you might share with us, blogside?

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  29. Thanks, Brian, for reading my blog. I’ve only been at it about a month and so it’s gratifying to have at someone reading my stuff.

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  30. HI Brian, thanks for an interesting post. As a former publisher’s assistant (in a mid-sized independent publishing house in Australia), I used to be one of the people who wrote rejection letters. It wasn’t fun – people who work in publishing are lovers of literature almost without exception, and have the same misgivings about the rejection of good writing that you and many others do. It hurts to tell someone who has written something interesting or beautiful that you can’t see an adequate market for their writing. Unfortunately, that’s often simply the case.

    I’ve read quite a bit about authors’ experiences with self-publishing and the anger at their rejection by the major publishers and agents: it’s perfectly well-founded anger. The problem, however, lies in forgetting that the publishers and agents are themselves subject to market pressures. It’s the great myth of publishing that the money ‘has to be going somewhere’ – in a lot of cases, there is no money. We’re as sad as you are that the vampire with the shape-shifting werewolf girlfriend sells and Vonnegut doesn’t. It’s hard to take a risk in a financial environment so hostile to quality.

    And that’s what I think about when I consider self-publishers: it’s easy to tell people ‘buck the system, go forth! Be your own editor, your own agent, your own publicist and your own sales rep’. But the financial risk has to go somewhere, and in this case it lands on the shoulders of the author, in their time, effort and often quite a lot of out-of-pocket cash. There’s nothing wrong with doing this, of course, I think it’s a great opportunity for many writers. But people need to go into this process with their eyes open and their expectations low – it’s hard out there.

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  34. I’m not sure if anyone else has asked this yet, but, on the larger scale of the literary world, how do the sales and circulation of books that have gone through agents and big publishers compare to books that have been published directly by authors? I know that self-publishing has become very popular, but is it worth it to get a book out there just for the sake of getting it out? Doesn’t readership count as something? Personally, I wouldn’t go through the trouble of writing a book to just not care whether or not it got read by others – the whole point of writing is to tell others a story. Also, how accessible are self-published books? They don’t land on Barnes and Noble bookshelves often. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

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  35. Excellent post full of much truth and what so many writers have experienced in trying to ‘snag’ a literary agent. I ended up being published by a small press (through another author’s recommendation) – All Things That Matter Press – who does not work with agents, but directly with each writer. This is what many small presses are doing and with so many authors also self-publishing, literary agents should be rethinking or they will eventually become redundant. Things are changing, and, I believe, for the better in publishing.

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  38. Thank you for visiting my blog. As an aspiring writer I am also experiencing the same thing that you have. I will be following your advice. May God bless you.

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  39. Thanks for the follow (that was so inspiring on my first day blogging!) I liked your blog also and will reciprocate.
    I agree totally with your article,though there are problems with self publishing also.. It seems often the most successful tend to be IT or marking folks I’m currently running the gauntlet of agents/ publishers.in an effort to get a book published so I can empathize with many of the comments..
    One thing not mentioned so far is the value of writer’s clubs where one can pool resources and info. I’m thankful to have found an excellent one here in London that’s great fun and helped me glean from other’s experiences.I’m still deciding between traditional or self publishing, (were I more technologically minded I’d definitely go for the latter.)

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    • Consider the self-publishing route. Most companies in this field anticipate a lack of expertise and offer as much assistance as you need. You retain all rights to your work and nothing in self-publishing precludes you from seeking out representation for that work or subsequent ventures. At worst you will have crossed another item off of the old bucket list. Good luck with your writing.

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  41. Good for you! I actually signed with 2 agents in succession before giving up (still no sales) and going indie with my fiction – now I couldn’t be happier. Work at my own pace, write what I want, and earn most of the money for myself instead of the pittance I’ve been paid for my 2 traditionally (non-agented) non-fiction books.

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  42. I read a book titled “How to get An Agent” many years ago. The woman who wrote it had been a literary agent for about a decade when she’d written the book and in it she basically admitted what you wrote above and did not apologize about it at all. It came off like bragging and when I was finished with reading it I still didn’t know how to get an agent. Neither do they like to be solicited with anything but a completed work unlike an actual publisher. When I obtained a contract on my first historical book eight years ago it was without an agent. Because I didn’t know how to read a contract in a legal sense I go a raw deal butI didnget a book published and that counted most with me. Next time. Without an agent I hope. ; )

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  43. I did my first 100 cartoon book with createspace. Will have much better chance this way. There are 4 major newspaper syndicates that are agents for several hundred successful cartoonists world wide but pick up just 1 to 4 new people a year out of hundreds and hundreds of so very talented people. The New Yorker publishes a site for its rejected cartoons and even those are so very superior in the genre. Thanks visit my blog.

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  44. Did you ever read Ayn Rand’s little known short story, Second Chance? The author/playwright in it says , ‘Nobody in this business has the slightest idea of what is good. Success runs on mere luck.’

    I agree with you. Eliminate the middle -man if he is an obstacle.
    However, one agent I met was genuine in his suggestions and rectifications; though no sales pitch cam through. Trial and error works best.
    P.S- Thank you for the follow.

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  45. I read and write reviews for many books each year. There has been a noticeable change in publishing. At one time, self-published books were assumed to be not good enough for acceptance by big publishing houses. Not anymore. Some of the best books I have reviewed this year are self published. With social networking, an author has a large number of marketing options. Reviews posted by readers at online retail book sites help promote books, too.

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  47. Hi Brian,
    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m glad you liked it and appreciate that you decided to follow me. I’m glad to hear your story of the route you took to self publish. It gives me hope that more and more people are going to go that route.

    I don’t appreciate the whole ‘gatekeeper’ thing. That those ‘special’ people (agents) who know so much better what is good for all the rest of us. Thank GOD that whole thing is falling apart!!

    There are so many interesting people all over the world with so much great stuff to share with the rest of us. Why should we be limited to just what tiny percentage those agents allow to pass their judgement?

    I started my blog for that reason. I don’t want to have to deal with any gatekeepers. I’m happy enough to find an outlet for my ideas. I still have no idea of how to market them, but I’m (very) slowly increasing my views, so maybe eventually I’ll do as well as if I went the traditional way and tried to work with an agent.

    Thank god we have the internet!!! 🙂

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  48. I used to work in the music industry… When we had a music industry. Anyway, The times they are a changin’ (Maybe I’ll submit that to an agent under my name) and all these once necessary jobs are becoming obsolete. Love the post, screw the agent. You don’t need no stinking agent. (would probably also be nixed)

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  49. Hi there,Brian thanks so much for coming to my site.Smile. I have read that self publishing is the way to go now days. I also hear tell, amazon has the resources for one to do just that. Now is it any good? I still have to investigate that. So your post is right on point. I agree with another replyer/ poster, (what is the proper name for one as me), Any who. She stated she is miles way from publishing. However good information now helps lay the foundation for future dreams. Blogging is another way to learn and grow and meet other as yourself. Love it. Have a great day!

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